A Very Sad Car History

 OK, so during the coof thing, and not being allowed to mix much, Facebook has been a bit of a thing here and my feed has been filled with some wonderful old cars, some American ones as well but generally pretty nice.

This got me thinking about Top Gear (the original one) and the guests they had one. During the pre drive bit the interview usually included a bit about the guests car history and this got me thinking about mine. Oh dear, my car history is a bit hit and miss, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Obviously when you are at school transport is usually mums taxi (my dad would not drive) and my independence needed a bike so my first proper transport was a Moulton Stowaway. For those not of a certain age, this was one of the first proper folding bikes but had incredibly tiny wheels. I lived in Somerset at the time near Longleat before it went quite so mercenary and with my mates used to cycle around the then new Lion enclosure on this.

When I left school and went to college, part of the time I was in Frome and part of the time in Radstock so needed something a bit more powerful so got myself a Vespa 90. The college had a lot of Engineering students as well and they had big powerful motorbikes , they found it quite amusing to totally surround my baby Piaggio with big BSAs and Nortons, One of them even managed to jump start it, crashing it into a wall. Fortunately his dad ran the local bike repair shop so I got it fixed (and updated a bit) for free.

Got my first job in a bank in Bristol and was living in digs with a relative. My uncle had an Austin Gypsy (a lot like a Land Rover and He promised I could buy it cheap if I fixed it up and painted it, which I did, however when I came home one evening I found he had sold it to another relative and I was stuck as I had a holiday booked in a caravan in Cornwall the following week. I managed to sell the Vespa for £30 ( I know, simpler times) and buy a Car for the same amount. It also cost me £30 to insure it (Bank employees got special deals) It was a Ford Prefect from 1952 so a year older than me and it worked brilliantly as long as it wasn't raining when you went up hills (Vacuum Wipers you know) 

I kept this for a while before an MOT failure meant it had to be scrapped so I then bought an Austin A35, I'm sorry if you like these but I hated it and soon sold it and replaced it with another 100E.

This one got the full treatment, I painted it Foxy Brown, had a blower intake on the bonnet (not connected to anything you understand, just for looks) Metalflake bumpers, electric aerial, high back seat covers the whole bit. My mate had a new Vauxhall Viva and I raced him from Radstock to Frome one weekend and beat him by several mins..

As is the way of all cars from this era, the rust bug finally got too much and I sold it and replaced it with a Mini. No ordinary Mini of course, It had an Austin 1100 engine fitted, a steering wheel the size of a sixpence, it was lowered and painted bright orange. It also had a short gearstick which whilst not unusual today, as anyone who remembers the original mini knows, the gearsick went through the bottom of the firewall straight into the gear box. Herein lies the problem.. I bought the car in London and was driving it back to Hemington in Somerset, a distance of just over 100 miles and the new M4, It took me just over 12 hours, the battery kept discharging, it was dark and raining and I hit a fallen branch which shattered the connection box for the remote gearstick, It was never the same again.

 I also got tired of being followed and stopped by the police as I was usually driving it around Somerset and Bristol at night, I was back in Bristol but my dad lived in Frome., So I got rid of it. This was exchanged for a 1965 Cortina 1500 which was fantastic, best heater ever but it got crushed by a left turning Truck and had to be written off. I briefly had a Vauxhall Viva estate and yes it was this exact colour, Yellow.

I replaced it with a Hillman Imp but my mother had a Corsair and it was too big for her and so we swapped. The Corsair was fantastic, Auto, 2000cc and went like a train, all the great features of the Cortina but more powerful.

The Corsair was replaced with another Automatic, Vauxhall Cresta, also powerful but a Bent propshaft eventually caused this one to go the way of so many others. I had fun in this when the wheel bolts sheared off and a wheel and tyre rolled under the rear wing, shot into the air and over the car following me. The following car was one of those white ones with stripes down the side and blue lights on the roof.

I replaced the Cresta with something quite unusual, I found a deal on a beautiful Humber Sceptre, which I just fell in love with, Big, powerful, beautiful comfortable leather seats, and just floated along. I had looked at a Ford Anglia 107E with a Escort Mexico engine fitted, but as it scared me witless, I decided comfort was a better option. It finally died on me but not before some wonderful trips to the South Coast for music nights.

 By this time I had decided that big cars were the way to go, Petrol was expensive but therefore big cars could be bought for peanuts, I got a Triumph 2000 estate also Auto, a bit of a theme was developing here, and wow what a powerhouse, shlepping over the Manchester Ship canal at over 90, I mean 70 of course.

Perhaps my driving style or perhaps the very high mileage finally caused this one to pump black smoke, a lot, dollop of Redex seemed to temporarily cure it so I quickly traded it in for a GT6, Dog, I loved that car, bit wayward at the backend, it was a Mk1 but It would blow most MGs out of the water, Just not the MGC 3.5Ltr.

I even kept this one through my first time marriage but as my then wife was under 25, she couldn't drive it for insurance reasons (actually I couldn't afford to insure her) She had a Renault 5 which we could afford so I sold my GT6, reluctantly. and we traded her basic 5 for a 5GTL

It was this colour and over here in Spain the few GTLs I've seen are all this Old Gold, so maybe that's the only colour they came in.

Eventually new job and needing a newer car, Wife had been made redundant, She wanted a Volkswagon Polo the first one had just come out and of course the only one the garage had was that reddish Brown that is marginally better than British Beige..It was a very deceptive car, I was a bit like the Tardis, bigger on the inside, it seemed to swallow loads that you would normally need a Volvo estate to cope with but it was a bit gutless and of course Volkswagon brakes !!.

I traded it in for an XR2, which did not go down well in the household but wow, talk about a train on rails, it was ace, apart from a leaky sun roof which I didn't discover until I got a lap full of water lowering the sun visor one day.

Again Life gets in the way of fun and with a baby on the way we discovered that the pushchair/Pram contraption wouldn't fit in the boot with the massive spare tyre so the baby pocket rocket had to go.

We replaced it with a Rover, and I also acquired a Ford Fiesta basic for Mrs D but the Rover was mine.

Unfortunately I had a coming together with a bus that was right across the road in a country lane on the way to work and, as is the way with Rovers they are a bit fragile on the front end and it got written off.

Fortunately the local garage had a blue one and, as I was paying cash got a great deal, discount and a tow bar fitted free, this became the replacement.

We had friends from Wales and had been on a great holiday with them to France but, as we both now had babies, to do it again we needed something a bit bigger, so nothing ventured, I tootled off down to Southport and acquired a Toyota Spacecruiser, 6 up plus a mahoosive tent and all the paraphernalia needed for a fortnight in France for two small babies and off we went. I was lucky with this one, It had the mileage to the moon and back but was fairly unthirsty and didn't need a drop of oil the whole time, we did France and Wales in it, CB chatting to people the whole time (yes simpler days)

Eventually of course it was a bit too thirsty around town so it went for slightly more than I paid for it so a win there,.I was now living  in the Midlands during the week so was using the Rover to pootle back and forth at weekends and then Divorce reared it's ugly head and I was stuck in a bedsit in Cannock with a Rover as my transport and fell out of love with it.. Traded it in for a Sportrak which was much more fun. It would pull my boat out of the water which the Rover wouldn't do and the rear section and roof came off for that lovely summer day that we get in England.

Once the financial situation became a bit clearer (read dire) this had to go and I was pushed to buy something really cheap so got a scruffy red Astra, paint peeling off as they do, but this one looked like paint stripper had been poured over it but it was only £200  so it had to suffice. 

That was stolen, yes really, and at a most inconsiderate time as I was due to drive to Reading and Maidenhead that day for work so had to hire a car, bosses were not well pleased, when recovered by the police it had to be scrapped so I got a series of Sierras, again due to price drove them until their MOTs ran out and swapped them in.

As I was now living in Castle Donington, the age of these cars was becoming a bit of an issue and I couldn't keep using the Vectra belonging to my new wife as she needed it over the weekends when I was visiting my daughter so I bought a Peugeot 308 but there were issues with it from the off and had to return it quite quickly.

 I bit the bullet and went to a local dealer in CD and with the new Mrs Ds blessing bought a boy racer MG ZS in British Racing Green. This was unfortunately involved in a very low speed slide into the back of a Ford on ice and again the fragile Rover front end caused a write off (PS I wasn't driving)

I replaced it wit a beautiful Laguna, a car I'd lusted after for a while and it was an absolute dream to drive so stable and sure footed. 

Sadly life usually kicks

 in just when you seem to have the perfect life and I lost my job so the Laguna had to go, we managed with the Vectra for a while but I need a car for travel and Mrs D needed one for shopping when I was away.so I just got the cheapest thing I could, don't laugh. Yes it's a Daewoo Lanos, basically a rip off of the Vauxhall Astra I had stolen in Leicester. 

Finally I started working for myself and was able to replace the Laguna so was happy again, but health issues then arose fr both of us and the Laguna had to go,. and while I was in Hospital Mrs D spotted an absolute bargain, got the train to Birmingham and drove home in one of the best cars we have ever driven..

The mighty Audi A4 V6 Avant Auto, what a mighty machine, we both loved that car and often had to Rock -Paper-scissors about who would drive.

2016 rolled around and we decided to move to Spain, I parted with the Audi, again reluctantly but as everything here in Martos is very local and the bus is ridiculously cheap, we didn't have a car.

I hired a Panda when Mrs Ds son came over for a visit and we hired a Fiat Doblo to get to the house from the airport and visit other towns to buy furniture but that's it for 9 months.

.

Finally realising we might use a car occasionally I bought a Citroen Xsara Diesel (this will be important later), It was Ok but good grief it was underpowered, Some motorway hills I had to change to third if I was 4 up. Fortunately or perhaps unfortunately, I leant it to a newby here in the town to move some stuff and he filled it up with petrol, destroying the engine, so scrapwards it went.

It was replaced with a Hyundai Accent, smaller petrol engine but 50% more HP., It was again OK but Mrs D was never comfortable in it and when the head gasket finally blew and wrecked the engine, she wasn't unhappy.

Finally we come to the present day, and I have to confess this is not actually my car, It's registered to Mrs D and she loves it, I might actually drive it a bit more but I'm sure that wont last much longer. She calls it Bluebell due to the colour and it is beautiful, stupid milage (kilometerage?) under 60k and it is a Mercedes A190 Avantguard. Bits a tad pricy, (New key is over 300 Euros) but it drives fantastically and we have a couple of great garages for servicing so Ok on that score and a friendly Mercedes Garage only 20klicks away.

So, Not counting the bikes that's about 30 cars, very few of which I would ever have again, The XR2, the GT6 , The Laguna and the Audi are exceptions. The one regret I have is travelling to London to see a Lotus Europa Lotus special for £1000 which I couldn't afford at the time and they are now totally out of reach, but hey, it's been a ride. (when they didn't break down)

Sorry, couldn't resist